{"id":4007,"date":"2021-06-18T11:19:00","date_gmt":"2021-06-18T11:19:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.corinaimbisi.com\/?p=1188"},"modified":"2023-11-10T14:57:07","modified_gmt":"2023-11-10T14:57:07","slug":"cum-iti-sabotezi-singura-relatia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.corinaimbisi.com\/en\/cum-iti-sabotezi-singura-relatia\/","title":{"rendered":"Cum \u00ee\u021bi sabotezi singur\u0103 rela\u021bia"},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"4007\" class=\"elementor elementor-4007\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-77238a5c elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default wpr-particle-no wpr-jarallax-no wpr-parallax-no wpr-sticky-section-no wpr-column-slider-no wpr-equal-height-no\" data-id=\"77238a5c\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-2e90bbbd\" data-id=\"2e90bbbd\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6f3c060 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"6f3c060\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Dac\u0103 nu reu\u0219e\u0219ti s\u0103 men\u021bii o rela\u021bie pe termen lung, sau dac\u0103 b\u0103rba\u021bii fac cale-ntoars\u0103 dup\u0103 o vreme, sau dac\u0103 te sim\u021bi singur\u0103 \u00een rela\u021bia ta actual\u0103&#8230;<\/p><p><strong>E momentul s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi adresezi ni\u0219te \u00eentreb\u0103ri \u00eenainte s\u0103 mai faci vreun pas spre o alt\u0103 rela\u021bie.<\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b457cbd elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"b457cbd\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Ce observi c\u0103 se repet\u0103 \u00een rela\u021biile tale? Care este elementul comun?<\/p><p style=\"text-align: center;\">C\u00e2nd se declan\u0219eaz\u0103?<\/p><p style=\"text-align: center;\">Cum te sim\u021bi \u00een acest context?<\/p><p style=\"text-align: center;\">Cum reac\u021bionezi c\u00e2nd se \u00eentampl\u0103 (acest lucru)?<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2490931 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2490931\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Este foarte u\u0219or s\u0103 spui c\u0103 \u201dto\u021bi b\u0103rba\u021bii sunt la fel\u201d sau c\u0103 \u201db\u0103rba\u021bii buni sunt lua\u021bi\u201d. Este foarte u\u0219or s\u0103 continui s\u0103 prive\u0219ti \u00een exterior \u00een loc s\u0103 prive\u0219ti \u00een interiorul t\u0103u \u0219i s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi pui \u00eentreb\u0103rile corecte.<\/p><p><strong>Cazul Evelinei:<\/strong><\/p><p><em>\u201dNiciodat\u0103 nu a fost o problem\u0103 pentru mine s\u0103 atrag b\u0103rba\u021bi masculini \u0219i chiar am avut dou\u0103 rela\u021bii cu astfel de b\u0103rba\u021bi. Problema era c\u0103 toate rela\u021biile se incheiaser\u0103 exact \u00eenainte de angajament. \u00cenceputul era de fiecare dat\u0103 romantic \u0219i incitant, dar desp\u0103r\u021birile au fost tumultoase, pline de resentimente.<\/em><\/p><p><em>La scurt timp, l-am cunoscut pe b\u0103rbatul actual din via\u021ba mea. La fel, foarte masculin, chipe\u0219, manierat. Dup\u0103 prima ceart\u0103 chiar \u00een primele dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni de dating, mi-am dat seama c\u0103 nu pot continua a\u0219a. Nu mai vreau s\u0103 \u00eemi sabotez singur\u0103 rela\u021biile. \u00cen mod cert, povestea nu avea s\u0103 se mai repete.<\/em><\/p><p><em>Coachingul cu Corina m-a ajutat enorm. Acum suntem logodi\u021bi.\u201d<\/em><\/p><h3><strong>Cum \u00ee\u021bi sabotezi singur\u0103 rela\u021biile \u0219i nu \u00ee\u021bi dai seama<\/strong><\/h3><p>Dac\u0103 ai ajuns pe aceast\u0103 pagin\u0103, \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 e\u0219ti \u00een c\u0103utare de r\u0103spunsuri, de con\u0219tientiz\u0103ri \u0219i pentru asta te felicit!<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2131a7a elementor-widget elementor-widget-eael-testimonial\" data-id=\"2131a7a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"eael-testimonial.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t<div id=\"eael-testimonial-2131a7a\" class=\"eael-testimonial-item clearfix  content-top-icon-title-inline\">\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"eael-testimonial-content eael-testimonial-inline-bio\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"bio-text\"><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<div class=\"eael-testimonial-content\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"eael-testimonial-text\"><p>O rela\u021bie con\u0219tient\u0103 \u00eencepe cu o femeie con\u0219tient\u0103.<\/p><\/div>\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t<span class=\"eael-testimonial-quote\"><\/span>\n\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b1dcea0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"b1dcea0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><strong>Ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi sabotezi rela\u021bia? Adic\u0103 s\u0103 ac\u021bionezi, \u00een fiecare zi, \u00eempotriva ei \u0219i s\u0103 contribui la deconectare emo\u021bional\u0103, de cele mai multe ori la nivel subcon\u0219tient. Subcon\u0219tientul nostru este extrem de performant \u0219i ne ofer\u0103 \u00eenapoi exact lucrurile pe care le s\u0103dim.<\/strong><\/p><p>Dac\u0103 s\u0103dim g\u00e2nduri negative, vom primi anxietate, ne\u00eencredere, o stim\u0103 de sine sc\u0103zut\u0103, st\u0103ri emo\u021bionale joase. Mai mult, dac\u0103 s\u0103dim convingeri limitative despre via\u021b\u0103, b\u0103rba\u021bi, iubire, vom crea situatii care s\u0103 ne adevereasc\u0103 acele convingeri. Astfel, vom face ac\u021biuni, vom spune lucruri, vom folosi un limbaj non-verbal care s\u0103 reproduc\u0103 convingerile noastre.<\/p><p>De exemplu, dac\u0103 tu crezi \u00een subcon\u0219tient c\u0103:<\/p><p>-b\u0103rba\u021bii sunt insensibili,<\/p><p>-b\u0103rba\u021bilor nu le plac femeile care spun ce simt,<\/p><p>-b\u0103rba\u021bii nu suport\u0103 ca o femeie s\u0103 vorbeasc\u0103 despre problemele ei<\/p><p>-nu exist\u0103 cupluri fericite, f\u0103r\u0103 probleme&#8230;<\/p><p><strong>Vei c\u0103uta contexte pentru a valida aceste credin\u021be \u0219i \u00ee\u021bi vei sabota singur\u0103 rela\u021bia prin:<\/strong><\/p><p>-atitudine de drama queen, reprimarea emo\u021biilor, prefacere c\u0103 e\u0219ti ok, a-i face pe plac non stop, a te pune pe locul doi, critic\u0103, luat la \u00eentreb\u0103ri etc.<\/p><h3><strong>De unde \u00eenv\u0103\u021b\u0103m s\u0103 ne sabot\u0103m rela\u021biile<\/strong><\/h3><p>C\u00e2nd mi-am pus propriile credin\u021be sub lup\u0103, m-am \u00eentrebat de unde vin ele. Cum \u00ee\u0219i fac loc \u00een mintea noastr\u0103 \u0219i cum ne dicteaz\u0103 ac\u021biunile \u0219i cuvintele, f\u0103r\u0103 ca noi s\u0103 ne d\u0103m seama.<\/p><p>\u0218i mi-am amintit de o client\u0103, \u00eensetat\u0103 dupa feminitate \u0219i evolu\u021bie personal\u0103, mi-a spus de c\u00e2teva ori \u201d<em>Uite ce am citit azi pe un site \/ pagina de instagram, e un tip care vorbe\u0219te de rela\u021bii, are o gramad\u0103 de clipuri \u0219i chiar st\u0103team azi, \u00een timp ce \u00eel ascultam, \u0219i m\u0103 \u00eentrebam dac\u0103 nu cumva nu am f\u0103cut eu destul (&#8230;) Chiar avea sens ce spunea!<\/em>\u201d<\/p><h2>Deci, prima surs\u0103: toate c\u0103r\u021bile, website-urile, paginile de social media, citatele de pe internet, podcasturi, cursuri de feminitate etc<\/h2><p>\u00cenainte de a absorbi \u00een mintea ta orice informa\u021bie, trece-o prin filtrele tale de auto-con\u0219tientizare:<\/p><p><strong>Aceast\u0103 informa\u021bie m\u0103 ajut\u0103 s\u0103 evoluez, s\u0103 cresc, s\u0103 m\u0103 comport diferit?<\/strong><\/p><p><strong>Aceast\u0103 informa\u021bie este \u00een acord cu valorile mele cele mai profunde?<\/strong><\/p><p><strong>Ce este cel mai important pentru mine \u00een via\u021b\u0103?<\/strong><\/p><p><strong>Cum pot folosi aceast\u0103 informa\u021bie pentru a \u00eembun\u0103t\u0103\u021bi (rela\u021bia, sau iubirea de sine, sau parentingul)?<\/strong><\/p><p><strong>C\u00e2t de mult imi serve\u0219te aceast\u0103 informa\u021bie la crearea realit\u0103\u021bii pe care o doresc pentru mine?<\/strong><\/p><p>Cele mai multe cursuri \u0219i c\u0103r\u021bi de rela\u021bii, feminitate, \u00eemplinirea dorin\u021belor ofer\u0103 REGULI. De exemplu, vorbe\u0219te cu aceste cuvinte, g\u00e2nde\u0219te ca un b\u0103rbat, poart\u0103-te ca o femeie, regula celor 90 zile, \u0219i multe altele.<\/p><p>Regulile nu vor func\u021biona niciodat\u0103. De ce? \u00cen primul r\u00e2nd, deoarece termenul \u00een sine este masculin \u0219i nu se potrive\u0219te cu energia feminin\u0103, care este liber\u0103, dezlan\u021buit\u0103, creatoare. \u00cen al doilea r\u00e2nd, regulile formeaz\u0103 strategii, iar strategiile sunt resim\u021bite imediat de un b\u0103rbat \u00een energie masculin\u0103 \u0219i va bate \u00een retragere instant.<\/p><h2>A doua surs\u0103, asupra c\u0103reia nu avem control:<\/h2><p><strong>Familia \u0219i prietenii.<\/strong> Modelul rela\u021bional pe care \u00eel vedem \u00een familie \u0219i la apropia\u021bii no\u0219tri se imprim\u0103 \u00een subcon\u0219tientul nostru. Astfel, el va dicta comportamentul nostru \u00een rela\u021bii \u0219i, de asemenea, va determina calitatea rela\u021biilor \u00een care intr\u0103m: s\u0103n\u0103toase sau nu.<\/p><p>Multe din convingerile limitative pe care le-am adoptat pe parcursul vie\u021bii provin din sfaturi NES\u0102N\u0102TOASE, oferite gratuit de persoanele cu autoritate din jurul nostru: mama, sora, prietena cea mai bun\u0103, profesoara, colega de la curs etc.<\/p><p>Chiar dac\u0103 nu po\u021bi controla p\u0103rerile celorlal\u021bi \u0219i impregnarea lor \u00een mintea ta, tu po\u021bi controla altceva: anularea lor. A nu le mai crede, pur \u0219i simplu. A le vedea ca pe ni\u0219te p\u0103reri, ceea ce \u0219i sunt \u0219i a NU mai reac\u021biona \u00een baza lor.<\/p><h2><strong>Singurul remediu care \u00ee\u021bi poate salva rela\u021bia<\/strong><\/h2><p>Este lucrul t\u0103u interior.<\/p><p>Adic\u0103, procesul t\u0103u de vindecare, de con\u0219tientizare, de acceptare de sine.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a1a05c7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-eael-testimonial\" data-id=\"a1a05c7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"eael-testimonial.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t<div id=\"eael-testimonial-a1a05c7\" class=\"eael-testimonial-item clearfix  content-top-icon-title-inline\">\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"eael-testimonial-content eael-testimonial-inline-bio\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"bio-text\"><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<div class=\"eael-testimonial-content\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"eael-testimonial-text\"><p>\u00cen\u021belegerea propriilor triggeri emo\u021bionali, faptului c\u0103 tu ai puterea s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi creezi propriile experien\u021be, s\u0103 te dezlegi de trecut \u0219i s\u0103 \u00eencepi s\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u0219ti \u00een prezent.<\/p><\/div>\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t<span class=\"eael-testimonial-quote\"><\/span>\n\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-69c29a74 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"69c29a74\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul><li>Descoper\u0103-\u021bi triggerii. C\u00e2nd te sim\u021bi provocat\u0103, c\u00e2nd sim\u021bi nevoia s\u0103 reac\u021bionezi.<\/li><\/ul><p>Mut\u0103-\u021bi aten\u021bia pe respira\u021bie, apoi pe corpul t\u0103u. Ce sim\u021bi \u00een acel moment? Cum se simte \u00een corp acea emo\u021bie (po\u021bi g\u0103si chiar \u0219i o metafor\u0103, de exemplu: simt un nod \u00een g\u00e2t, tensiune \u00een umeri).<\/p><p>\u00centreab\u0103-te: <strong>ce a declan\u0219at aceste emo\u021bii \u00een mine?<\/strong><\/p><p><strong>De ce mi-a fost team\u0103?<\/strong><\/p><ul><li>Adopt\u0103 un comportament con\u0219tient s\u0103n\u0103tos.<\/li><\/ul><p>Nu permite st\u0103rilor tale de nesiguran\u021b\u0103 s\u0103 afecteze rela\u021bia de cuplu actual\u0103. St\u0103rile de nesiguran\u021b\u0103 vin din experien\u021bele noastre trecute, traume sau \u00eentampl\u0103ri care \u00eenc\u0103 provoac\u0103 neplacere \u0219i team\u0103, c\u00e2nd ne g\u00e2ndim la ele.<\/p><p>Atunci c\u00e2nd primul t\u0103u g\u00e2nd este ca partenerul te \u00een\u0219al\u0103, dac\u0103 nu r\u0103spunde la telefon imediat, sau dac\u0103 te surprinzi verific\u00e2ndu-i telefonul sau tinzi s\u0103 \u00eei investighezi via\u021ba pe social media (cui i-a dat like, de la cine a primit comentarii sau mesaje) \u2013 este momentul perfect pentru a deveni con\u0219tient\u0103 de st\u0103rile tale de nesiguran\u021b\u0103. Ele nu au nicio leg\u0103tura cu ce face partenerul t\u0103u, ci cu semnifica\u021bia pe care alegi s\u0103 o dai tu evenimentelor din rela\u021bia voastr\u0103.<\/p><ul><li>Coaching.<\/li><\/ul><p>Un coach bun poate fi prima \u0219i singura persoan\u0103 din via\u021ba ta c\u0103ruia te po\u021bi deschide \u0219i po\u021bi \u00eemp\u0103rt\u0103\u0219i cele mai mari frici ale tale, visuri, secrete \u0219i s\u0103 te sim\u021bi acceptat\u0103 \u0219i \u00eencurajat\u0103 \u00een tot acest timp.<\/p><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.corinaimbisi.com\/en\/despre-relatii-relatii-toxice\/\">Programul de coaching pentru Rela\u021bii Fericite<\/a> este un program format din sesiuni s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2nale, pe o perioad\u0103 minim\u0103 de 3 luni, \u00een care ai ocazia s\u0103 te reg\u0103se\u0219ti, s\u0103 \u00eencepi vindecarea emo\u021bional\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 dai voie iubirii adev\u0103rate \u0219i durabile s\u0103 intre \u00een via\u021ba ta.<\/p><p>F\u0103c\u00e2nd aceast\u0103 investi\u021bie \u00een tine, vei \u00eenv\u0103\u021ba cum s\u0103 TE iube\u0219ti ca s\u0103 fii iubit\u0103, \u00eentr-un mod s\u0103n\u0103tos \u0219i con\u0219tient.<\/p><p>Te a\u0219tept cu drag,<\/p><p>                <div class=\"ml-form-embed\"\n                     data-account=\"3857537:c3a4t0g5h5\"\n                     data-form=\"5842462:d2d0s2\">\n                <\/div>\n            <\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dac\u0103 nu reu\u0219e\u0219ti s\u0103 men\u021bii o rela\u021bie pe termen lung, sau dac\u0103 b\u0103rba\u021bii fac cale-ntoars\u0103 dup\u0103 o vreme, sau dac\u0103 te sim\u021bi singur\u0103 \u00een rela\u021bia ta actual\u0103&#8230; E momentul s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi adresezi ni\u0219te \u00eentreb\u0103ri \u00eenainte s\u0103 mai faci vreun pas spre o alt\u0103 rela\u021bie. Ce observi c\u0103 se repet\u0103 \u00een rela\u021biile tale? Care este elementul comun? C\u00e2nd se declan\u0219eaz\u0103? Cum te sim\u021bi \u00een acest context? Cum reac\u021bionezi c\u00e2nd se \u00eentampl\u0103 (acest lucru)? Este foarte u\u0219or s\u0103 spui c\u0103 \u201dto\u021bi b\u0103rba\u021bii sunt la fel\u201d sau c\u0103 \u201db\u0103rba\u021bii buni sunt lua\u021bi\u201d. Este foarte u\u0219or s\u0103 continui s\u0103 prive\u0219ti \u00een exterior \u00een loc s\u0103 prive\u0219ti \u00een interiorul t\u0103u \u0219i s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi pui \u00eentreb\u0103rile corecte. Cazul Evelinei: \u201dNiciodat\u0103 nu a fost o problem\u0103 pentru mine s\u0103 atrag b\u0103rba\u021bi masculini \u0219i chiar am avut dou\u0103 rela\u021bii cu astfel de b\u0103rba\u021bi. Problema era c\u0103 toate rela\u021biile se incheiaser\u0103 exact \u00eenainte de angajament. \u00cenceputul era de fiecare dat\u0103 romantic \u0219i incitant, dar desp\u0103r\u021birile au fost tumultoase, pline de resentimente. La scurt timp, l-am cunoscut pe b\u0103rbatul actual din via\u021ba mea. La fel, foarte masculin, chipe\u0219, manierat. Dup\u0103 prima ceart\u0103 chiar \u00een primele dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni de dating, mi-am dat seama c\u0103 nu pot continua a\u0219a. Nu mai vreau s\u0103 \u00eemi sabotez singur\u0103 rela\u021biile. \u00cen mod cert, povestea nu avea s\u0103 se mai repete. Coachingul cu Corina m-a ajutat enorm. Acum suntem logodi\u021bi.\u201d Cum \u00ee\u021bi sabotezi singur\u0103 rela\u021biile \u0219i nu \u00ee\u021bi dai seama Dac\u0103 ai ajuns pe aceast\u0103 pagin\u0103, \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 e\u0219ti \u00een c\u0103utare de r\u0103spunsuri, de con\u0219tientiz\u0103ri \u0219i pentru asta te felicit! O rela\u021bie con\u0219tient\u0103 \u00eencepe cu o femeie con\u0219tient\u0103. Ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi sabotezi rela\u021bia? Adic\u0103 s\u0103 ac\u021bionezi, \u00een fiecare zi, \u00eempotriva ei \u0219i s\u0103 contribui la deconectare emo\u021bional\u0103, de cele mai multe ori la nivel subcon\u0219tient. Subcon\u0219tientul nostru este extrem de performant \u0219i ne ofer\u0103 \u00eenapoi exact lucrurile pe care le s\u0103dim. Dac\u0103 s\u0103dim g\u00e2nduri negative, vom primi anxietate, ne\u00eencredere, o stim\u0103 de sine sc\u0103zut\u0103, st\u0103ri emo\u021bionale joase. Mai mult, dac\u0103 s\u0103dim convingeri limitative despre via\u021b\u0103, b\u0103rba\u021bi, iubire, vom crea situatii care s\u0103 ne adevereasc\u0103 acele convingeri. Astfel, vom face ac\u021biuni, vom spune lucruri, vom folosi un limbaj non-verbal care s\u0103 reproduc\u0103 convingerile noastre. De exemplu, dac\u0103 tu crezi \u00een subcon\u0219tient c\u0103: -b\u0103rba\u021bii sunt insensibili, -b\u0103rba\u021bilor nu le plac femeile care spun ce simt, -b\u0103rba\u021bii nu suport\u0103 ca o femeie s\u0103 vorbeasc\u0103 despre problemele ei -nu exist\u0103 cupluri fericite, f\u0103r\u0103 probleme&#8230; Vei c\u0103uta contexte pentru a valida aceste credin\u021be \u0219i \u00ee\u021bi vei sabota singur\u0103 rela\u021bia prin: -atitudine de drama queen, reprimarea emo\u021biilor, prefacere c\u0103 e\u0219ti ok, a-i face pe plac non stop, a te pune pe locul doi, critic\u0103, luat la \u00eentreb\u0103ri etc. De unde \u00eenv\u0103\u021b\u0103m s\u0103 ne sabot\u0103m rela\u021biile C\u00e2nd mi-am pus propriile credin\u021be sub lup\u0103, m-am \u00eentrebat de unde vin ele. Cum \u00ee\u0219i fac loc \u00een mintea noastr\u0103 \u0219i cum ne dicteaz\u0103 ac\u021biunile \u0219i cuvintele, f\u0103r\u0103 ca noi s\u0103 ne d\u0103m seama. \u0218i mi-am amintit de o client\u0103, \u00eensetat\u0103 dupa feminitate \u0219i evolu\u021bie personal\u0103, mi-a spus de c\u00e2teva ori \u201dUite ce am citit azi pe un site \/ pagina de instagram, e un tip care vorbe\u0219te de rela\u021bii, are o gramad\u0103 de clipuri \u0219i chiar st\u0103team azi, \u00een timp ce \u00eel ascultam, \u0219i m\u0103 \u00eentrebam dac\u0103 nu cumva nu am f\u0103cut eu destul (&#8230;) Chiar avea sens ce spunea!\u201d Deci, prima surs\u0103: toate c\u0103r\u021bile, website-urile, paginile de social media, citatele de pe internet, podcasturi, cursuri de feminitate etc \u00cenainte de a absorbi \u00een mintea ta orice informa\u021bie, trece-o prin filtrele tale de auto-con\u0219tientizare: Aceast\u0103 informa\u021bie m\u0103 ajut\u0103 s\u0103 evoluez, s\u0103 cresc, s\u0103 m\u0103 comport diferit? Aceast\u0103 informa\u021bie este \u00een acord cu valorile mele cele mai profunde? Ce este cel mai important pentru mine \u00een via\u021b\u0103? Cum pot folosi aceast\u0103 informa\u021bie pentru a \u00eembun\u0103t\u0103\u021bi (rela\u021bia, sau iubirea de sine, sau parentingul)? C\u00e2t de mult imi serve\u0219te aceast\u0103 informa\u021bie la crearea realit\u0103\u021bii pe care o doresc pentru mine? Cele mai multe cursuri \u0219i c\u0103r\u021bi de rela\u021bii, feminitate, \u00eemplinirea dorin\u021belor ofer\u0103 REGULI. De exemplu, vorbe\u0219te cu aceste cuvinte, g\u00e2nde\u0219te ca un b\u0103rbat, poart\u0103-te ca o femeie, regula celor 90 zile, \u0219i multe altele. Regulile nu vor func\u021biona niciodat\u0103. De ce? \u00cen primul r\u00e2nd, deoarece termenul \u00een sine este masculin \u0219i nu se potrive\u0219te cu energia feminin\u0103, care este liber\u0103, dezlan\u021buit\u0103, creatoare. \u00cen al doilea r\u00e2nd, regulile formeaz\u0103 strategii, iar strategiile sunt resim\u021bite imediat de un b\u0103rbat \u00een energie masculin\u0103 \u0219i va bate \u00een retragere instant. A doua surs\u0103, asupra c\u0103reia nu avem control: Familia \u0219i prietenii. Modelul rela\u021bional pe care \u00eel vedem \u00een familie \u0219i la apropia\u021bii no\u0219tri se imprim\u0103 \u00een subcon\u0219tientul nostru. Astfel, el va dicta comportamentul nostru \u00een rela\u021bii \u0219i, de asemenea, va determina calitatea rela\u021biilor \u00een care intr\u0103m: s\u0103n\u0103toase sau nu. Multe din convingerile limitative pe care le-am adoptat pe parcursul vie\u021bii provin din sfaturi NES\u0102N\u0102TOASE, oferite gratuit de persoanele cu autoritate din jurul nostru: mama, sora, prietena cea mai bun\u0103, profesoara, colega de la curs etc. Chiar dac\u0103 nu po\u021bi controla p\u0103rerile celorlal\u021bi \u0219i impregnarea lor \u00een mintea ta, tu po\u021bi controla altceva: anularea lor. A nu le mai crede, pur \u0219i simplu. A le vedea ca pe ni\u0219te p\u0103reri, ceea ce \u0219i sunt \u0219i a NU mai reac\u021biona \u00een baza lor. Singurul remediu care \u00ee\u021bi poate salva rela\u021bia Este lucrul t\u0103u interior. Adic\u0103, procesul t\u0103u de vindecare, de con\u0219tientizare, de acceptare de sine. \u00cen\u021belegerea propriilor triggeri emo\u021bionali, faptului c\u0103 tu ai puterea s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi creezi propriile experien\u021be, s\u0103 te dezlegi de trecut \u0219i s\u0103 \u00eencepi s\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u0219ti \u00een prezent. Descoper\u0103-\u021bi triggerii. C\u00e2nd te sim\u021bi provocat\u0103, c\u00e2nd sim\u021bi nevoia s\u0103 reac\u021bionezi. Mut\u0103-\u021bi aten\u021bia pe respira\u021bie, apoi pe corpul t\u0103u. Ce sim\u021bi \u00een acel moment? Cum se simte \u00een corp acea emo\u021bie (po\u021bi g\u0103si chiar \u0219i o metafor\u0103, de exemplu: simt un nod \u00een g\u00e2t, tensiune \u00een umeri). \u00centreab\u0103-te: ce a declan\u0219at aceste emo\u021bii \u00een mine? De ce mi-a fost team\u0103? Adopt\u0103 un comportament con\u0219tient s\u0103n\u0103tos. Nu permite st\u0103rilor tale de nesiguran\u021b\u0103 s\u0103 afecteze rela\u021bia de cuplu actual\u0103. St\u0103rile de nesiguran\u021b\u0103 vin din experien\u021bele noastre trecute, traume sau \u00eentampl\u0103ri care \u00eenc\u0103 provoac\u0103 neplacere<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7526,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4007","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relatii"],"blocksy_meta":{"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":[],"version":8}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.corinaimbisi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4007","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.corinaimbisi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.corinaimbisi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.corinaimbisi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.corinaimbisi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4007"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.corinaimbisi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4007\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.corinaimbisi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7526"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.corinaimbisi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4007"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.corinaimbisi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4007"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.corinaimbisi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4007"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}